Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Nice quiet holiday (not really)

Lily was home from school today. In a lot of ways, it was nice. We slept in a little (but more specifically/importantly, mommy slept in) and then stayed inside for most of the daylight hours. Nothing really exciting. Then we played outside for awhile before heading out for errands, starting with buying printer ink. At that popular electronics store that uses blue and yellow a lot.

Unfortunately, once in the store I discovered this store doesn't really sell the ink for my printer anymore. Well, they do.. but only in 5packs. And it wasn't on sale like I thought it was.. so I just bought black, which was the only color they sold as a single. I'm sure there's a reason for it.. but honestly, why are there so many different ink cartridge shapes and sizes even within one brand?

Noah slept through the entire thing, so I headed off to the second errand. Returning things at the mall. I swear the employees at this specific store must want to run when they see me coming. I very rarely buy anything, but I am there all the time returning things. Because my children would never let me shop around in a clothing store for myself or them, so I can really only shop online. But the purchases only work out about half the time for one reason or another, so..

Off we went. We entered the mall through one store and half way through Noah woke up. And wanted to walk. One step. And then he wanted to be carried. Until we got right into the entrance of our target store. Then he wanted to get down. Then he didn't. Then he flipped the full-on heck out. At nothing. At seriously nothing. Screaming like someone was chopping his leg off. Complete with tomato red face. The. Entire. Time.

And by "the entire time" I mean just the length of time it took to walk in the door directly to the counter, stand in line for about 30 seconds, and then the actual return processing. On four different receipts. Oh. Yup.

Almost as soon as we stepped out of the store.. he stopped. So we walked across the hallway to the store we had to walk out through. And.. almost as soon as we stepped into that store.. the hysteria started all over again. I thought he wanted to walk, so I put him down. He didn't, so I picked him up again.

And he screamed and screamed and screamed. The woman walking in front of us turned around more than once to look at me. And I started to get the impression that people thought maybe I was stealing him. (Oh no, trust me I wouldn't steal anyone's child.. and certainly not one that was in full-on hysteria mode.)

We managed to get out of the store without being stopped by security only to be almost be run over in the crosswalk. We were more than halfway across.. and the car did finally stop.. but it was about 2 feet away from us.

At the car, I opened the door for Lily first, then wrestled the still-screaming Noah into his seat before closing the door.. and just laughing out loud in the parking lot. (Because otherwise you cry.) I found his juice.. and then that was it. Silence. So that's all it was? Just thirsty? Okay. One more errand couldn't hurt.

And honestly, at first, it was fine. But I took too long. And by "took too long" I mean..

We walked inside, directly to the paint department, and I immediately found what I was looking for. But then I took another minute to make sure there wasn't another color sample that might be better. Stupid.

When we got to the end of the 20 foot section, Noah decided he wanted to keep going. And when I disagreed he lost it. So I picked him up.. and he screamed harder. I snatched the paint I needed off the shelf and got into line. Behind 6 other people. Guess how many home improvement store shoppers care you've got a hysterical toddler?

Did you guess zero? How about home improvement store employees? Did you guess zero again? When we got up to the register, the cashier rang up the paint, scanned my coupon, and then instead of handing me the receipt.. picked. up. the. phone! Instead of finishing the transaction and letting me escape the store with my screaming child.. he answered the phone next to him. I wish I could have seen my face. I'm pretty sure I know what it looked like.. but I think it still would have been funny. Not in the moment.. but later. Later it would have been funny.

I couldn't really tell you what happened after that.. but somehow we all got back to the car. And I buckled the children into their seats. Then I think I mentioned something about I should get an award.. or have my own day. Lily informed me that I do.. it's Mother's Day. And I inquired if it was tomorrow.. and maybe it should be.

(And truly, I sort of feel like.. this is what I get for leaving the house and thinking I could just get things done..)

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Okay, I confess..

.. I listened to a Christmas song, in my car, on purpose today. It wasn't even on the radio.. it was playing from my phone.

I know.

But, now that it is officially after Halloween.. I feel I can allow it. Right? Most years I wait and wait and wait until well after Thanksgiving to kind of "allow" myself to start in on the December holidays. And I can't remember a year that I haven't regretted it. By the time December comes around, I've been retail bombarded with sparkle with ornament for over a month. While being all Grinchy-shocked about it. How dare the retailers start Christmas so early! Blahblahblah. This year I've decided to give in and enjoy it for as long as I can stand it.

Because, listen.. for the first time in probably ever I semi-decorated for Halloween- bought real pumpkins, carved one of them, and got out all the fake pumpkins I colored Halloween pictures with Lily, hung them up, and all that. But now that that's over, it's time to transition to Thanksgiving. Which, I actually really like. The holiday transitioning I mean. As long as you take down the really "scary" parts of your Halloween decorations the rest of it usually transitions well in the November season. Call it laziness. Call it frugality. Whatever.

And that's where I am right now.. listening to Christmas music in the car and on the verge of taking down the rest of our Halloween adornments. Maybe I'll just glaze over Thanksgiving altogether this year.. I'll just eat some mashed potatoes and fake turkey.. and then get online for the sales. Done.

Monday, October 27, 2014

when I was your age..

A lot has changed since I was in elementary school- approximately 500 years ago.

My child's school is like Fort Knox at dismissal time. Kids being released one by one. Having to show ID over and over and over until every teacher within a 10 mile radius is 110% sure who you are. Kids getting on their busses in secure lines one bus at a time with at least two adults guarding over each group.. walking in single file straight to the bus. Etc etc.

When I was in high school, middle school, and even elementary school.. the bell rang and school was done. You walked out of the building. Then you walked (or rode your bike) home or you found your bus yourself and got on it.

There was no such thing as peanut allergies and peanut free tables. Now my child tells me there are two peanut free tables in her cafeteria. Kids traded lunches and shared food.. not anymore. There were parties and parents brought in food. There were bake sales. Not anymore. No outside food. Not even the factory sealed kind. Too many allergies. Too many potential on -purpose or accidental germs.

No talking during lunch. No talking in line. No talking in the halls. No talking during most of the activities that I ask about. How do they make friends?

How about picture day? You know what was missing from the order form this year? The option for ordering a class picture. Probably because who is in what class is private information. No, I'm not kidding. I went to the (mandatory) workshop for volunteering at the school. There was an hour long presentation about what you can and cannot do. (Nothing to do with your behavior.. just a whole hour about things you can't say. To anyone.) And you cannot tell anyone who is else is in your child's class. (Who, seriously, when asked is going to say 'sorry I cannot confirm or deny whether or not Jeff is in George's class'?)

And it's not just the mandatory workshop. There is also a background check- which you must have notarized. If you want to chaperone on field trips you also have to be fingerprinted (which is apparently $35). I understand it. I totally do. But at the same time.. wow. It is a terrifying time to be a parent.

Don't even get me started on how fast schools get closed at the potential sign of a snowflake these days..

Sunday, October 26, 2014

umbrellas for the win

I finally broke down and bought my children umbrellas. I've never really been an umbrella person.. never. I was always of the 'blah blah it's just rain' school. Wear a jacket, try not to just stand out in the rain. Etc.

But, I do have a couple of umbrellas. Two, actually. Someone bought me one 10-15 years ago. The other one I got on clearance 8 or 9 years ago. Most of the time I never even knew where they were.

And then I had children. That I had to take places. On rainy days. And any decent lady who dares to let herself be called mommy wouldn't let her a drop of water fall out of the sky onto her pwecious munchkins, so.. Umbrellas it is!

But regular umbrellas aren't going to cut it for us. For several reasons. There is the look on my child's face when she sees all the other tiny little beings at her school with the coolest, most desirable umbrellas that could possibly be made (while she must use a boring, adult umbrella), but..

The real issue is that there are 2 umbrellas, and 3 of us walking into and out of school every day. So, either I'm going to continue to get drenched or an umbrella purchase needed to be made.

I thought about just getting a new one for myself, but why do that when I can buy fun things for the pwecious munchkins instead?

So I did. Hopefully they will be here soon because I don't even have a proper raincoat. Baby steps..
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