Wednesday, March 30, 2011

doctor vs doctor

My new hobby is going to the doctor. For real. Well, not a hobby so much as it's just been happening way way more frequently in the last few months than it has in the last decade. Or so..

First I went in for pain. Which was worse than it had ever been. And I couldn't take it any more. But more so that my husband couldn't take me not being able to take it anymore. Baby.

I left with prescriptions to fill and an appointment for a physical. Unreal. This tricky new doctor actually got me to agree to that. Time to be an adult about myself- because if you aren't an adult for yourself, who will be? I take my two year old to all her regular appointments, and since becoming a parent I try to be a hypocrite as little as possible (yes, preparing for the teen years already).

So, I went to my "yearly" physical- the first one in half a million years. And found myself agreeing to blood work of all things! I swear they are pumping agreement air through that office. We'd like to give you a physical- sure, no problem. We'd like to stick a sharp metal object into the inside of your elbow and take your blood- sure, no problem. We'd like you to pay us to do this stuff- absolutely, here's some cash.

And of course, as an adult, you have to fast before getting your blood drawn as part of a physical- which is a horrible rule. Horrible. Even worse for me because it also meant no pain medication in the morning (which I take with food) and NO COFFEE! Tired, in pain, and without caffeine.. you don't want to meet that in a dark alley.

I waited for my turn. And waited and waited. God, I wanted to trade someone else in that waiting room for a lower number so bad. I knew I was making the blood drawing event out to be so much worse than it really would be.. and yet I still couldn't not be anxious about it.

I ended up getting stuck twice because my fist, arm, and vein wouldn't cooperate with the needle. Or whatever devise they use, I wouldn't know. As soon as the nurse put on a new pair of gloves, I fixed my eyes on the wall on the other side of the room and didn't move them until I felt the gauze covering the gaping hole in my arm. I tried breathing deeply and slowly, but guess what? That didn't help my case. Really, I wanted to step outside of my body for a minute.. just until the needle was out of my arm.

When it was over, I walked back out into the waiting room like I had just had open heart and brain surgery, along with a transplant or two.. did any of these people know what I had just gone through!? I'd just been stabbed in the arm. Twice! I was sure I was at least a shade paler if nothing else. Unbelievable that no one even batted an eye.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Here comes the sun..

As I stood outside shivering, and watching my daughter run around in the driveaway today, all I could really think about was how cold I was.. and it wasn't even that cold out. I love Winter (ya, I know it's Spring now).. but I'm just tired of the cold.

I had a quick daydream about how awesome it's going to be when it gets so hot all you really want to do is stay still. And I can sit on the steps and watch my almost 3 year old run around and expel all that endless, endless engery.

But then I remembered how much I hate the heat. I snapped back to reality and tied a scarf around my neck. Ya, I said it.. a scarf. In the middle of March.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The doctor will see you now..

Yesterday was doctor day. I spent a little time in the waiting room of my own doctor's office and later in the day was Lily's 2 1/2 year checkup.

It had actually been 5 or 6 months since we'd last been to see her doctor- and if I remember correctly, it was the longest we'd gone without going in. The first year we went about every three months with a few extra visits for little colds and such. The second year was a regular check-up every six months.. but then there were a few extra "weight checks" when she started falling off her growth curve, a few extra flu shot visits, a visit when she hurt her foot (and then to the hospital), and one more for an ear infection. Thankfully things have gone a little less constant-doctor-visity since she turned two.

She's increasingly unhappy (and tantrum-y) about getting weighed and measured when we go.. so when she started getting a huge kick out of standing on my postage scale- a light bulb went off. The day before we went to the doctor, I let her practice standing on the postage scale (and staying "really still") and even measured her while she laid down on the carpet. And it worked.

She was SO happy to go to her appointment. So happy to the extent that she jumped up and down, grinning while we waited for the nurse.. and then for the doctor to see us.

Turns out my kiddo was even more of a rockstar than usual. All the doctor could really say was Lily's "perfect" and "doing great". She hopped around the room, opened all the drawers, took apart a baby safety latch, emptied out a container of books, and took full advantage of the stethoscope to check out my foot, leg, and the doctor's pulse.

At an impromptu "quiz" Lily correctly told her doctor that the lizard was "green", its eyes were "circles", and the big black things were "ants." she didn't say anything for a minute.. and I thought she would call them bugs.. but nope.. "ants." Love it.. so smart!

I wasn't sure what to expect. She talks a blue streak all day long at home and out in the world.. but when we get to the doctor.. she's usually pretty silent. I think it's so very different to her than our everyday life.. so she quietly observes everything. But that mind is always going.. you can just tell.

Man, I love that girl.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Right now.

Right now, life isn't good. In real life. It hasn't been for years. I am hoping that someday it will be better.

Thank goodness for internet life. And thank goodness for the Flashlight app on my iPhone. Otherwise I would have, most likely, fallen down the stairs this morning.
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