Thursday, March 29, 2012

A day in the life: noon to midnight

Tuesday's part two. Slightly less exhausted than part one.

1:31pm: Finally getting to eat my breakfast. Or I was. Until a baby fell asleep on me- now I'm typing with one hand. And watching old episodes of A Different World- because activities become slightly
limited in this situation. However, by now Lily, Noah, and I have all eaten at least one meal and have gotten dressed for the day. I have also gone to the bathroom (by myself!), made the bed, and determined I don't need to do laundry today. So.. way to go mommy!

2:32pm: I was finally able to get up, sort of, and decided to take the opportunity to wash dishes and baby bottles. I got to about three bottles and a handful of silverware, then my brother-in-law got in the
shower. So that was the end of that. I love that he lives here, Oh wait.. no, no I don't.

I made Lily her lunch. Noah started crying. I made his bottle and sat down to feed him too. I guess my lunch can wait- I didn't get to have breakfast til after 1:30 anyway. And both kids ARE actually eating.. so that's a plus.

5:00pm: How is it 5pm? Noah is eating again. Lily is watching Max & Ruby. We never made it outside today. I haven't brushed my hair. I can't remember if I brushed my teeth or not. I didn't make it back to
the dishes yet. I am thinking about drinking more coffee, but I probably shouldn't. I wanted (well, "want" isn't really the best choice to describe how I feel about it) to go out to do errands when Jason gets home.. but maybe I won't. There's too much to do here.

I wanted to take down the baby gate for the kitchen since it's been broken for several months now, but that didn't happen. I thought I could vacuum the living room, but that didn't happen. I thought about all sorts of things that didn't happen today.

6:54pm: My hair is now brushed. So are my teeth. And all the bottles are washed. Which just leaves the dishes. Awesome. Noah is sleeping. Lily is eating pizza (and ketchup. seriously.) for the second time today. And watching YouTube. Correction- Noah WAS sleeping. Now he's fussing- for a bottle presumably. Jason just got home, but I don't feel like going out to do errands- so I guess I won't. I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow. Because I'm sure I won't be tired tomorrow. Funny.

Jason is making macaroni and cheese and offered me some too. That will be my dinner. For now.

7:09pm: I went into the kitchen to make Noah a bottle. Jason asked if I had gotten a chance to buy pasta sauce. No. I suggested he try tomato paste instead, because for some reason we have that in our house. Or ketchup. He made a face at me. And told me he was making me something to eat. Oh, that's nice. I hate cooking. I avoid it. He hates that.

8:34pm: Noah is sleeping on my lap. Lily is playing in her room. Jason is taking a shower. I remember when I could just get up and take a shower. Sort of. I sort of remember that. I am thinking about the
dishes I still need to wash. But I'm afraid if I move Noah, he'll wake up, and not want to go back to sleep. At least until I try to feed him again. In like half an hour probably. I'm so tired.

9:01pm: I got a chance to wash some dishes. Some dishes. But then Noah wanted to eat again. (Where does he put all this food?) So that's what I'm doing now- and typing with one hand.

I don't know what happened to the rest of the day- I got too overwhelmed to keep track I guess. The next day was more productive for some reason though. More dishes got done. And laundry. AND I finally took down that broken baby gate. I also finally got out to the grocery store. Where I dealt with obnoxious teenage boys and a deathly ill cashier (super awesome- not like I've got a newborn with a brand new immune system at home or anything). Made me want to never leave the house again, which is just as well, because I rarely do anymore.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A day in the life: midnight to noon

I don't know what made me decide to keep track of my day, but I did. Most of it anyway. It was a pretty typical Tuesday for us. There's no way I could keep up with recording my day like this everyday.. there was a lot that didn't get done because I was typing. With one hand mostly. And it was frustrating to really see how much time flies by, and how quickly a day is gone..

1:35am: Noah is sleeping. Lily will be sleeping soon. I hope. She has her pjs on. She had her snack. She's laying down, in a dimly lit room, with her pillow and blanket. Her iPad has been retired for the night. It's only a matter of time now.

I am laying down, ready for sleep as well. But. Noah started a bottle around midnight. And took his usual (lately) almost hour to drink what he wanted of it. So as its nearly 2am.. he could certainly be awake any minute, screaming for food. Better catch my 20 minutes of sleep while I can.

3:21am: Just as predicted.. Noah woke up just after 3am, screaming for a bottle. I stumbled to the kitchen to put together a bottle as fast as I could. The bottle at this time is always the worst. I think. Waking up the first time is the most jarring for me. My body wants to sleep so badly- and when I only gets 2 hour of rest..

The more 1-2 hours naps that accumulate overnight, the easier getting up gets. But actually, using the word "easy" is misleading. It's never easy, I'm just slightly less zombie-like as the night wears on.

3:33am: Noah has had two tries with this bottle so far. (And then falls asleep.) Barely drinking 2oz total. I will give it one more try before I put him back to bed. I am having such a hard time making my eyes stay open. I keep falling asleep. Sitting up. Mommy zombie. One more try with the bottle.. Then I'm sleeping too.

3:46am: two ounces? I quit. Goodnight.

7:03am: Noah woke up around 6:30am. And I stumbled to the kitchen. And made him a bottle. Which he ate about 3oz of before spitting up some of it on both of us- thank goodness for burp cloths.

He then spent the next 20 minutes being fussy, not sleeping, not wanting the rest of his bottle, and not being interested in a binky.. Before deciding that he did want the rest of his bottle- and then started to fall back asleep. Finally. Until I decided I didn't want him to choke on more spit up.. and burped him.. and woke him up all over again. Of course. But seeing how its almost 7:30 now and he's been up, eating and not eating, for almost an hour- he should be about ready to give in to sleep. And so we can start this all over again in two hours.

9:44am: Do I know my son or what? By 9am he was awake. I thought I could convince him to go back to sleep, but he wasn't having any of it. Until I started feeding him.. then he couldn't stay awake. Of course.

11:15am: I thought after our 9 o'clock hour events that we would all be up for the day. Not really. Noah ate. A little. And then fell back asleep. Again. And again. And again. Then Lily didn't want to wake up either. Screw this, I said, and I went back to sleep too. Now it's after 11 and Noah is fussing.. and falling asleep. Fussing for a few seconds.. and then falling asleep again. So I'm up. I gathered up
breakfast for the three of us (I can't really say I "made" breakfast.. just gathered it all together in one spot). Well, actually..

I got Lily her juice, muffins, and fruit mush pouch. Then I made Noah's bottle and started to walk out of the kitchen. Oops. I forgot mommy generally requires nourishment as well.. so I got some yogurt out of the fridge. And they're STILL sleeping. But not for long..

11:21am: I just remembered a dream I had. That my brother-in-law spoke to me. Like, more than spoke to me.. we had an actual small conversation. He came into the living room, sat down on the floor, and asked me a question about his cellphone. I knew the answer.. and he seemed genuinely happy that I solved his problem. And yes.. I'm pretty damn sure I was dreaming on this one.

Are you starting to see some patterns here?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

That's so 16 year old boy with a cheesy moustache

Ah, Saturday morning cartoons. We hardly ever watch them (love that DVR) but for some reason we did this morning- some show about animals.. possibly at a zoo? I don't remember. And then suddenly there was a public service announcement. With Hilary Duff of all people. This..


(Hearing that phrase actually drives me nuts.) So I went to and found two more. Including my favorite one..

I think I might be missing the intent of these PSAs? Unless it was to give me a laugh this morning. (I needed one.) 16 year old boys with cheesy mustaches.. that's pretty funny- but, Jason seemed like he thought they were so girl wearing a skirt as top.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

insert interesting title about not sleeping. and stuff. here. thanks.

I just had to go and jinx myself didn't I? I certainly wasn't bragging about the relative ease of Monday (especially when compared to how badly everything could have gone).. but maybe I should have been happy everything went okay and not put it out to the world that we all made it through the day. Because then there was Tuesday..

Nothing really terrible happened, but.. I just didn't prepare well enough in advance for everything. (Even though I planned in advance to be prepared. Funny.) I got three hours of sleep during the night. In the form of two naps.. about an hour and a half each. (Instead of my normal 5-6 hours. In the form of 1-2 hours naps. That has been my norm the last 4 weeks.) Not awesome.

I drank so much coffee. And ate so little food.. that by the time I started getting ready for the day's outing (taking Noah to the doctor), I couldn't keep my hands steady. So I ate 3 pieces of raisin bread. And that helped. Somewhat.

But time just slipped away. As it tends to do when a mom gets ready takes her two children out in public by herself for the first time. Lily ended up wearing her pjs.. with pants. But her pjs weren't really pjs, just a long shirt.. thankfully. So it was our frazzled little secret.

It was also the first time both car seats were in my car. And the way we are smashed in is probably just barely legal. Of course everyone is buckled and strapped down. Handles are at appropriate angles and blah blah blah. But it sure wasn't ever more obvious to me that my car was not designed with a family with two small kids in mind.

There was all that- and of course we were late. I looked at my watch. And grumbled to myself. The constant argument I have with myself about our doctor's appointments. If you know you're going to be 10, 15, or more minutes late and call to get in later in the day instead (the "right thing").. you find yourself not being able to get an appointment for a week. But if you just go anyway.. so far I've never been so late that they didn't take us. (And I also try to tell myself that pediatricians are a little more understanding.)

I was exhausted, I couldn't even get one of my children dressed properly, the car situation was making me so mad, and we were already outside for God's sake.. we were going! We were 15 minutes late. And if anyone there was bothered by it, they hid it really well.

Lily was so good at the office.. chatted to everyone, was calm, and actually listened to me. She wasn't completely okay with having to share "her" doctor with her brother.. but the doctor did a great job of involving Lily in everything she was doing (pff, moms!), including taking Lily to get a sticker and some paperwork while I got Noah dressed again. I'm so in love with that office and its staff.

There was probably more to our day, but beats the heck out of me as to what it involved. Seriously. Because last night, I only increased my sleep by an hour (1 three hour nap and 1 hour nap), but was still able to have a very short dream that I told off my brother-in-law's girlfriend, or whatever she is. In our hallway. Something about the bathroom. At least I think it was a dream- I could be sleepwalking/fighting at this point. Wouldn't surprise me.

My second "nap" would have been longer, but the combination of the bathroom door slamming (turned out the be the girlfriend) and Jason asking me if someone was in the bathroom (yes, apparently), woke me up.. and there was no going back to sleep. But, oh, I did so try.

(Today I looked up "death from a lack of sleep".. just to make sure.)

And I cannot for the life of me remember what the last thing I was going to say was. Here's to upping my logged sleep to a scandalous five hours tonight.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

one day down..

I was originally going to call this "the end of the world." Because Monday was Jason's first back day at work from his little four week baby bonding vacation. But I survived. We survived..

Well. It actually wasn't that bad.

We didn't really do anything. Lily played on her own mostly. We watched tv, ate food, and I washed a heck of a lot of baby bottle paraphernalia. Around 5 o'clock we went outside- and it was still 73 degrees. At 5:15pm. On March 19. Winter.


Lily ran around in the yard and driveway while I stood (and sat) nearby with Noah strapped to my body. I don't think he could have cared any less about the weather. Or even that we were outside versus inside. He slept.

Lily chatted up our neighbor, telling him she was "going for a walk with mommy." Which she was.. On the way back, we passed an enormous dog being taken for a walk. Lily started calling him Sparky- and then continued to include him in our conversation the rest of the way home. I love the way that three year old's mind works. (Most of the time.) I love that she loves life.. makes me love it more too.

When Jason came home he told me I looked like a mom. "Ya," I told him, "it's weird.. I thought that several times today.. that I never felt so much like a mom." Like all of a sudden- and I don't know why.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wherein I keep our lives interesting

Sunday morning I woke up with hives. Because it seemed like time for some more drama in our lives and I'm awesome like that. And they got worse as the day went on. They came and went. Monday they got worse. Coming and going. Migrating all over my body from head to toe.

By Monday night, my husband and mother-in-law had me so freaked out (maybe it's this, maybe it's that, maybe they left something in you when they cut you open. seriously?!) I found myself being taken to the emergency room. Where I never even sat down in the waiting room.. the registration desk thought maybe I was going into anaphylactic shock and I was seen immediately. Turned out that, thank God/apparently, that was not what was happening.

I was given a bunch of disgusting medicine (seriously disgusting.. burning like shots of vodka), prescriptions for more disgusting medicine, and sent home to recover.

Tuesday I went to my doctor. Or actually.. to see a physician's assistant since I didn't want to wait til Friday. First I talked to a third year med student. Who I totally freaked out. It was very clear, that although she asked me lots of questions, looked at the rash all over me, in my ears, and my eyes.. that she really really did not know what to tell me what was going on. And it made me feel bad. For her. Like maybe she was going to go home and quit med school. And I was already pretty freaked out about what was happening to me.. I didn't need to add making someone drop out of med school to my day.

The med student went to talk to the P.A. and then they both came back in to see me. The P.A. was pretty baffled too, but at least he ventured to guess that it was an allergic reaction to something.. and probably not meds from my hospital stay 3 1/2 weeks earlier (which is what I was told it probably was at the ER the night before). He referred me to an allergist- whose waiting room I was sitting in about an hour later.

The allergist was the first one that made me less freaked out about what was going on. When you think we are having an allergic reaction to something, you see an allergist, and he tells you not to worry about it too much.. he's the one you are probably going to believe. It's migrating, I told him, all over my body.. coming and going. Ya, he said, it'll do that. And I started to calm down.

He also just handed over medicine. Just like that. Saving me whatever it was I would have spent at the pharmacy filling the ER prescriptions. Finally, a win.

He seems to think his cocktail of drugs is going to fix me up, no problem. And if it does, then it'll just be one of those bizarre things with no specific cause. (Which won't then lead me to need testing to find the cause.) I'm supposed to keep a diary of what goes on- and then follow up with him in a week.

Unfortunately, so far, I am finding a lot to write down. And the more I write, the more I think he's going to take one look at it and refer me to a nutritionist too. Fail.

Friday, March 9, 2012

So this is what it's come to

Thursday morning. Early Thursday morning. I apparently fell asleep while sitting on the couch. Which sounds totally normal.. especially for the parent of an infant. However..

I had been sitting on the couch around 2am, feeding Noah- but he only took a few sips from his bottle before he fell asleep again. I was so tired and put him down in his car seat on the floor in front of me. A few minutes later he wanted more.. so I fed him while he was still in his seat.

Next thing I know.. I woke up sitting on the couch hunched over Noah's car seat. And I don't remember anything. I was in so much pain from being like that for who knows how long.. it was all I could do to just try to lay down on the couch.

And fall asleep again. When he woke me up to eat again.. the previous bottle was still sitting next to him in his seat. Unbelievable. I've gotta get some more rest..

..maybe when Noah starts kindergarten.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

What we talked about on Valentine's Day this year..

Laura: can you get my suitcase out of the garage please?
Jason: what are you going to put in it?
L: ... (staring)
J: what are you going to put in it?
L: ... (staring) I'm going into the hospital on Friday..
J: oh ya, I forgot about that.

[We all forget things, but.. forget about having a baby? That's a new one.]

Monday, March 5, 2012

Maybe he completes us

It's not that I haven't had anything to say in a week and a half.. I've just been in full on mommy mode. Getting used to two, instead of one, has been.. hmm.. Tiring. Exhausting. Challenging. And totally, totally..

Amazing. I admit I was scared. Off and on from the time I knew Noah was coming into our lives.. I was scared. Scared how our family would change. Scared for how Lily would feel. Scared for how I would feel. Scared how I would manage. But Noah is amazing. Even though I'm not resting even close to the amount I should be.. I mostly don't care. I've never been so tired. Even when Lily was born.. I think I eventually started to get more sleep than I do now. And I remember being able to take naps during the day.. when she would. Not so anymore.

Now my whole night is a series of naps. Two to two and half hour naps.. about three in a row if I'm lucky. I sleep when Noah sleeps. And I thank God that during the night Noah falls right back asleep after he eats.. just like his sister did. So it's just a matter of getting up, picking him up, stumbling to the kitchen together, stumbling back together, and then trying not to fall asleep while he eats. I don't even think about how tired I am anymore.. I just do it. Like a robot. Like a mommybot.

Jason took a lot of time off to be around when he's needed. But I still try to do as much as I can.. and manage both kids as much as I can.. I don't want it to be an enormous shock when he's not around as much in a few weeks.

We've left the house as a foursome twice already. And it hasn't actually been too bad. What I fear will be bad are the one adult against two kids outings. Especially when I'm the "one adult." But so far, Lily does seem to be a little calmer when we're out. Either that or we're getting a little better at keeping her calm. I feel like we know what we're doing a little better this time around (for Noah). And that only enhances life with Lily too.
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